The story of Barb

I want to tell a true story about a woman I knew that for purposes of this story I will call Barb.
Barb worked in a food pantry.  She was the mother of 6 children who, by the time I knew her, were full grown adults. 

Barb and her husband Frankie lived in a not-so-great part of town.  They grew up there (before it was so bad) and they met at a gas station there, married and continued to live in this area for their whole lives.

Barb ran the food pantry for many years.  She made sure orders were placed, dealt with clients, volunteers and food providers.  It was no small job but I personally don't believe she was paid or treated very well despite her good work. 

I knew the sort of verbal abuse she suffered at the hands of the woman manager who was in charge of the whole non-profit organization.  I saw it all firsthand.

That manager had the sort of credentials that would have made anything Barb might have said against her seem untrue.  Barb knew that.  We all did.

The people who could have stopped the mean manager didn't have any idea the sort of abuses that were going on at the food pantry.  They were the clueless board of directors,  a group of mostly church people who didn't really want to know the reality of running a food pantry.  They were well protected from any truth by the silver tongued manager. 

Despite the manager's meanness Barb handled many kinds of people within the food pantry and she did her job well.

Still, she never really thought she could leave that mean and horrible manager and get a different job.  It seemed that she didn't think anyone else would hire her.  

Barb's husband Frankie was a volunteer at the food pantry (he was on disability).  I don't think Barb could drive but Frankie could and did drive everywhere for the food pantry.  Frankie did a lot for the food pantry as a volunteer and was never actually compensated in any real way for all his work.

It was always clear to me that Barb was in charge both at the food pantry and at home. She was intelligent and knew her way around in the world.  Frankie would have done anything she asked him to do.  They took care of each other.

Barb and Frankie were quite poor.  In fact, they often lived off food from the food pantry themselves.  They felt fortunate to have a roof over their heads and a junky old car to drive. 

They never had enough for a big family dinner let alone Christmas presents for all their children and grandchildren. The one time they had a real Christmas was the year Frankie finally got his first Social Security disability check. That year they had everyone over and bought them all small gifts. They also bought a new-to-them minivan.

Despite such hardships they stayed married and lead honest lives.

When I saw them, Barb's words were almost always misspelled and her handwriting was like a child's.  She was clearly wonderfully intelligent and had learned to work well in her surroundings but my guess is and will always be that she had dyslexia and really never got what she needed as far as schooling was concerned.  She was clearly a bit embarrassed by her handwriting.  She also had no knowledge of how to use a computer.

By the time I knew her Barb had diabetes but she did not follow what would have been prudent measures.  Frankie's health was what one might expect with a man who had been impoverished his whole life,  poor dental health and plenty of other complications.

Frankie died first, suddenly, a few years ago. I believe he was in his late 50's.   Barb quickly followed him to the grave.  Their daughter told me that Barb never did recover from Frankie's death.  I believe her.

The part I wonder about- the part that haunts me-  is whether it would have made a difference in Barb's life if she has gotten what she needed as far as her learning difference was concerned.

I'll never know. 

Somehow it still seemed worthwhile to tell this story of these people.  Barb and Frankie, people who I know will be deeply missed.