In retrospect an IEP meeting

I've had some time to think and rethink about my son's most recent ETR meeting.  How one of the big dogs was there sitting in for the district ( I had met her before and she watched the first time around as her employee tried to work me over, this was pre-child advocate) and how everything played out.

I humbly admit that I'm not someone who "gets it" all that well in the moment.  This trait could possibly be a coping technique from my past but I can say that it has protected me on occasion.  I do much better thinking about things later.  Later, I am astonished,  later, I have a snappy retort to a rude phrase directed my way.  Sigh. Still, I manage to muddle along.

A lobbyist I know told me not too long ago, "It's not a mediation unless everyone leaves the table unhappy."  Ha, a cynical view I know but there is some truth to it.

So with that comment ringing in my ears I told our Child Advocate that I would let the speech subject be the place where I was most vocally unhappy (but in the end I wouldn't argue too much).  It was perhaps manipulative of me but I think there needed to be a place where the pack of school personnel got to enjoy that I wouldn't get everything I wanted. I gave them that with the speech subject.

The bar is set so low on these speech tests that really, I've said it before,  I would hate to hear what a kid who actually qualifies for speech services by their standards sounds like.  That child wouldn't be able to speak. So they get to say they've done their job by testing while actually they are just continuing to be stingy with their services.  I had documented by 2 outside organizations that speech therapy was needed.  They had their ridiculous test.

Remember that these school personnel (in my experience) think their job is to protect district money and be as stingy as possible. 

In an earlier conversation the School Psychologist suggested that many parents who seek out IEP's are simply trying to "use the system".  (Her comment reminded me of how people sometimes argue about how people on food stamps are abusing that service by not really being responsible with the food they buy.)  While something like that may rarely happen generally speaking that is utter nonsense (in both cases). 

Still, this is the sort of ridiculous mentality many parents face regularly when trying to get an IEP written for their child.  That must be the sort of ignorant rationalization that lets these sort of people still get some sleep at night.

In my case I (thankfully) have an expert beside me,  guiding me and making sure that the district is actually doing the job that federal law requires.  For the majority of parents though, they are on their own facing people who barely seem to know what they are doing.  Or are so devious that they don't care what they are doing (as in the case of the big dog that came to my meetings). Sad, very sad for the state of the nation and children everywhere.