Parent Task 4: Remember when you were brave in the past

This is my story about being brave and facing the unknown future.

Let me reveal 3 silly things I thought while I was pregnant before my first child was born:

1. I will take 6 weeks materinty leave and then go back to work full time (working for one of the meanest thankless bosses there ever was).
2. It will be no problem to stick my kid in childcare what would have amounted to 50 hours a week.
3. I will breastfeed and still work full time with a young infant.

Ha! Ridiculous!

I hope everyone reading this always has choices and I realize that this isnt always the case but those 3 thoughts were so far off the mark I cant even begin to stop laughing at myself for having them.

I had a drug-free birth that was not perfect but was very close to what I wanted. I was empowered by having the birth of my choice. 

I was determined to breastfeed because my mom had breastfed me when not many middleclass white women were doing that.  I told myself I would MAKE IT WORK.  I had been to La Leche League meetings, read the books about it and I was determined (good thing to or it would have been easier to quit).

The result of this was that when my daughter turned 6 weeks old I was just catching my breath.  There was no possible way I was going back to work 50 hours a week for the meanest woman ever. My daughter was still nursing once an hour. No possible way.

There were tears.  There was fear.  There was a lot of ambiguity and wandering in a fog of unknowing what the future held. 

One thing was clear I was staying with that baby who had to nurse all the time, to hell with money and work.

I tried one day of back-to-work-fulltime and pumping my milk (pumping barely works at that stage in the game).    At eight weeks old my daughter wouldnt take the bottle at all and waited the whole day until she had me back with her to eat.

And that was that.  No more full-time work for me and I didnt care what happened financially.

Things worked out.  Yes, they did. I began to work part-time and things fell into place. 

Being with that baby was too important to me. Nursing and mothering became my priority and that was right.
Now I have children who arent babies anymore but I still have the bravery I had to have during that time of not-knowing.  I have since faced many challenges relating to my children and I know that I draw on that past experience. 

Find those past successes.  Those times you were brave.  Keep those thoughts handy as you face your challenges.    

Parent Task 3: A secret energy source

So going through this battle is taking a lot of energy.  Just a refresher: my daughter's legal right to an assessment for an IEP based on her diagnosis of dyslexia has been violated by six adults in the education industry at this point. We had to hire a Child Advocate in order to get here what she is legally entitled to.

No matter if you are in a battle or not challenging our society with a learning difference takes energy.

So today I want to share what I consider to be a major secret to increase energy levels.  It's not massage, high-performance drugs or anything else you have to buy.

First, some background as to how I found out about this energy enhancer: there is a really great book called Born To Run: a hidden tribe, superathletes, and the greatest race the world has never seen by Christopher McDougall.  It was published in 2009.

In this book he talks about one of the best long distance runners in our country and how this man has a secret to winning all those marathons. 

In any race this runner will not start out taking the lead but will instead stay behind and run with people he believes need encouragment.  He stays with them for many miles.  They talk and he gives to them.  At a certain point toward the end of the race he becomes serious about winning and goes on to defeat people who have been ahead of him the whole time.  This world famous marathon winner has done this time and time again. This is his secret.

Now I dont run very often and when I do it's a solo activity but here is what I take from this:  helping others gives energy.

So how this works in my life has become very specific.  Since I write- I use that skill to help others. 

Yesterday,  I wrote a letter to the customer service department of my local grocery store talking about the excellent customer service I received.  I did this because the worker I had been speaking to thought it might help her in her job.  And also the service was excellent and maybe, just maybe some good will come to this deserving person because I wrote it.

My local paper called me the other day because they want to print a letter I'd written to the editor in support of our local food pantry (they are trying to expand and having a hard time).  I did this because in most cases the poor have very little voice.  I know about this subject and can weigh-in on their behalf.

So while one might conserve their energy for the fight that they are up against on behalf of their children I say try it my way and see if you arent energized. 

Find that place where you have talent and work on behalf of those in need.

Then sit back and watch what happens. 

Parent Task Number 2: Write your timeline

You are going to write a timeline of the story of your child's learning difference. 

It's going to start when you noticed there might be an issue. 

Take good guesses if you don't remember the exact dates. 

I will post our timeline soon so you can see an example. 

You will need to continue to add to it as you have meetings and phone conversations. 

Even if you dont think you need to keep a timeline keep it anyway because you never know when things might take a turn for the worst as far as your services are concerned and this will be an important tool in your toolbox of taking care of your child.

I found this task extremely helpful.  The timeline will also help you tell your valuable story to others.

Parent Task Number 1: Get a Box

Go and get a box. 

This will be the home where you will keep every shred of paper you have regarding your child's learning difference. 

Date everything that you put in the box with the date  you recieved the paper and who it came from. 

Also in the box should go dated samples of your child's school work.

Later you will organize some of this stuff into a binder but for now get it all into that box.