One of my strengths is persistence. One thing about going up against odds is that it makes one strong enough to do it again and again. I have never thought things would be handed to me, since they usually werent, so this started me off on being quite persistent. Sometimes it can be handy to have had a past struggle.
Apparently I'm going to have to be SUPER persistent here in the world of getting a decent IEP. I was just sent a draft IEP today that is an absolute joke.
Only it's not very funny when grown adults who should be professionals act like children that dont want to pick up their room.
Personally, I'm ready to go straight into complaints and DUE PROCESS. I'm not sure I want to wait around any longer.
Yes, there is a scholarship on the line but what if, what if I actually wanted to use that IEP next year and go to our local public school where (remember) the tutor said she only works off the IEP. Then would this lame ass piece of paper that barely says anything do the job for my child? NOPE. Not at all.
Once again how do these people sleep at night? Really, I'm still astonished.
So again another battle.
Showing posts with label IEP. Show all posts
Showing posts with label IEP. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
IEP Meeting preparation
A few things about IEP (IEP=Individualized Education Plan) meetings:
1. Know that the term "team" is a rather inaccurate way to talk about all the people who will attend the IEP meeting. Although all the people involved are considered to be the "team" for the child, the only real team are the parents and perhaps their advocate (if they have one). Dont assume that these people who are determining what is best for your child are as invested in your child's future as you are. You have to feel that the decisions are the right ones for your child's development.
2. Have a meeting with your spouse/child's parent the night before your IEP meeting. Make sure you both know what your goals are.
3. It is essential that the parents present a united front. Give the impression that NOTHING is more important than this meeting and your child's future. Looking at your watch and acting like you should be at work etc. is not going to help your kid- make sure they can see you are really serious about getting what is best for your child.
4. If someone has to leave early then the educational professionals must sign a paper saying they left early and what times they were present and not present. If they just HAVE to be at some soccer practice or other reason they simply must leave early there is paperwork involved, make them do that paperwork.
5. If, for example, you are discussing speech and the speech therapist cant be there then you need to reschedule. Know that this sort of nonsense is VERY COMMON. Whether the educational professionals are doing it on purpose or if it's just an accident is beside the point. Key people need to be in the meeting otherwise there is no meeting.
6. Always remember that as a parent you are always the main one looking out for your child's interests, do a good job of holding others accountable. Make friends and get support from someplace other than your child's school professionals. Learning differences are a lot of extra work on educational professionals that already have too much to do. For years some very slippery ways to get out of that extra work have been developed, dont let your child suffer because of this.
7. Try to record the meeting on a tape. In most cases school professionals will agree to this (although sometimes there is a policy against it). Afterward listen to the tape to see what you missed. Also dont turn that thing off until you are back in your car. A lot of important information is still being exchanged after the meeting is officially over.
8. Go to everything you can that helps you look out for your child's interests. I know this is a lot of work but there is a big payoff here.
9. As always I say pass on to others what you know. Pay it forward- always! Help some other family any chance you get.
10. I put this last because it is MOST IMPORTANT: Do not ever go to an IEP meeting by yourself. Ever.
I have done this and it is a big mistake. I have known others to do this with excuses like,
"Well his dad has to work"
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.
You are better off taking anyone then you are going alone.
Single parents please listen here. Take your friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, co-worker, anyone. Do not try to do this alone. It's too important. In an ideal world you wouldnt have to work so hard to protect your family's interests but in this case there are too many ways to skip around what is fair and legally required. Please take someone to the meeting with you.
1. Know that the term "team" is a rather inaccurate way to talk about all the people who will attend the IEP meeting. Although all the people involved are considered to be the "team" for the child, the only real team are the parents and perhaps their advocate (if they have one). Dont assume that these people who are determining what is best for your child are as invested in your child's future as you are. You have to feel that the decisions are the right ones for your child's development.
2. Have a meeting with your spouse/child's parent the night before your IEP meeting. Make sure you both know what your goals are.
3. It is essential that the parents present a united front. Give the impression that NOTHING is more important than this meeting and your child's future. Looking at your watch and acting like you should be at work etc. is not going to help your kid- make sure they can see you are really serious about getting what is best for your child.
4. If someone has to leave early then the educational professionals must sign a paper saying they left early and what times they were present and not present. If they just HAVE to be at some soccer practice or other reason they simply must leave early there is paperwork involved, make them do that paperwork.
5. If, for example, you are discussing speech and the speech therapist cant be there then you need to reschedule. Know that this sort of nonsense is VERY COMMON. Whether the educational professionals are doing it on purpose or if it's just an accident is beside the point. Key people need to be in the meeting otherwise there is no meeting.
6. Always remember that as a parent you are always the main one looking out for your child's interests, do a good job of holding others accountable. Make friends and get support from someplace other than your child's school professionals. Learning differences are a lot of extra work on educational professionals that already have too much to do. For years some very slippery ways to get out of that extra work have been developed, dont let your child suffer because of this.
7. Try to record the meeting on a tape. In most cases school professionals will agree to this (although sometimes there is a policy against it). Afterward listen to the tape to see what you missed. Also dont turn that thing off until you are back in your car. A lot of important information is still being exchanged after the meeting is officially over.
8. Go to everything you can that helps you look out for your child's interests. I know this is a lot of work but there is a big payoff here.
9. As always I say pass on to others what you know. Pay it forward- always! Help some other family any chance you get.
10. I put this last because it is MOST IMPORTANT: Do not ever go to an IEP meeting by yourself. Ever.
I have done this and it is a big mistake. I have known others to do this with excuses like,
"Well his dad has to work"
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.
You are better off taking anyone then you are going alone.
Single parents please listen here. Take your friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, co-worker, anyone. Do not try to do this alone. It's too important. In an ideal world you wouldnt have to work so hard to protect your family's interests but in this case there are too many ways to skip around what is fair and legally required. Please take someone to the meeting with you.
Friday, March 30, 2012
Mock IEP meeting
Last Monday I attended a Mock IEP meeting put on by the Child Advocate's office and the attorney's she works with. The attorneys had to drive from another city to stage the mock IEP.
By no means did it cover everything that could go wrong during the IEP process but it was a start. There was also some pretty valuable information about getting FREE help given out. Remember that these laws are often state specific and you will need to research about what is available in your area.
There were many parents who had already been through a great deal. I was sort of sad that there wasnt a real chance for the parent's to get to know each other. I think we could have been helpful to each other. But it was a start and I expect to see at least some of these faces again.
Also I know where I'm going next which is a good thing.
I will post more detail about what I learned at the Mock IEP soon but for now I'm changing this blog to reflect what state I'm in with the hopes that this can help someone.
If this blog helps even one family get better care for their child with dyslexia then it has been worthwhile to write it.
By no means did it cover everything that could go wrong during the IEP process but it was a start. There was also some pretty valuable information about getting FREE help given out. Remember that these laws are often state specific and you will need to research about what is available in your area.
There were many parents who had already been through a great deal. I was sort of sad that there wasnt a real chance for the parent's to get to know each other. I think we could have been helpful to each other. But it was a start and I expect to see at least some of these faces again.
Also I know where I'm going next which is a good thing.
I will post more detail about what I learned at the Mock IEP soon but for now I'm changing this blog to reflect what state I'm in with the hopes that this can help someone.
If this blog helps even one family get better care for their child with dyslexia then it has been worthwhile to write it.
Friday, March 2, 2012
Am I being foolish?
Am I being foolish to think that just because we have now moved our child to the very expensive school that specializes in dyslexia (and other learning differences) that we are going to be taken care of where our IEP is concerned?
I'm not sure. There seems to be this reluctance on the part of even these school officials involved to:
1. Keep me as a parent informed in a steady manner. Really, why should I have to keep asking what is going on?
2. Do any work on this at all. (I'm perhaps being mean but this is the way people are coming across -like,
" (Big Sigh) Oh, okay lady I'll look to see if maybe your kid does deserve an IEP after all."
3. A refusal to believe what a $1,500.00 doctor's diagnosis says.
I can tell when I see other kids and I see my kid that there is a difference. This is a no brainer. Why are people so untrustworthy and unwilling to work on our behalf.
Here is where I'm at with it. If I get one more sign that people are not doing what they should for my daughter I'm hiring the child advocate ($400 retainer, $80.00 per hour). One more sign. I'm looking out.
On the good side the other day while we were driving home from school my kid started reading the street signs. So that is pretty good - at least she is reading after a month of her new school where by the way she is MUCH happier. I love that. Now if only I could believe that they are doing what they should as far as her IEP is concerned.
I'm not sure. There seems to be this reluctance on the part of even these school officials involved to:
1. Keep me as a parent informed in a steady manner. Really, why should I have to keep asking what is going on?
2. Do any work on this at all. (I'm perhaps being mean but this is the way people are coming across -like,
" (Big Sigh) Oh, okay lady I'll look to see if maybe your kid does deserve an IEP after all."
3. A refusal to believe what a $1,500.00 doctor's diagnosis says.
I can tell when I see other kids and I see my kid that there is a difference. This is a no brainer. Why are people so untrustworthy and unwilling to work on our behalf.
Here is where I'm at with it. If I get one more sign that people are not doing what they should for my daughter I'm hiring the child advocate ($400 retainer, $80.00 per hour). One more sign. I'm looking out.
On the good side the other day while we were driving home from school my kid started reading the street signs. So that is pretty good - at least she is reading after a month of her new school where by the way she is MUCH happier. I love that. Now if only I could believe that they are doing what they should as far as her IEP is concerned.
Saturday, February 4, 2012
The first IEP meeting
IEP stands for Individualized Education Plan
This is a legal document which parents can request to get from their public school. The parents local public school system is required by law to address a request for an evaluation by a parent (in any type of school within their district). Laws may differ in various states (I'm not sure).
In my opinion this is a very valuable document. If a child needed a wheelchair ramp to get to school this is something that would be written into an IEP.
Public schools are required to meet the needs specified within the IEP (an example for a child with dyslexia might be extra time to take a test). Private schools are not required to meet expectations within IEP's but they may formulate their own paperwork in order to accommodate a child's needs.
Here is my story:
I probably wouldn't have asked for an IEP evaluation so quickly except that in our state there is currently a large (over 7K) scholarship to pay for tutoring etc. and to get that scholarship one needs to have the IEP.
At $50-$75.00 per hour for a good Orton-Gillingham trained tutor the bills would really add up. Plus, there is an $1,800.00 summer camp that is for dyslexia (we are on the waiting list - it has been filled for 6 weeks already). In my house $7,0000 is a lot of money. By the end of this year of finding out about our child's dyslexia we will undoubtedly have spent this much.
I was scheduled to have a meeting with the public school official and a school official (the principal) of our Catholic school. I thought the meeting was to set up further testing (the public school always wants to do their own I heard).
My thought was that I would have a meeting (required) with the public school official, the principal of our current school and we were essentially setting up a time for further testing.
Usually my husband would attend a meeting regarding our child with me, but he had an important meeting at work on the other side of town so I was on my own.
(Side Note: I have found at our school that my husband is taken seriously while I am not considered to be anyone of consequence. I am not alone in this thinking, some of my mommy friends have felt that way too, but, as my husband says, they see a lot of mommies. I guess this is part of the reason a mommy isn't really taken too seriously around there, it couldn't possibly be the Catholic-take on women as lesser citizens is it?)
I went to the library to copy the doctor's paperwork for the meeting and on the way I got a call back from the Child Advocate that parents (mostly the suburban ones) end up hiring ($400 retainer and $80.00 per hour for this service) in order to get what they need in the way of IEP's. I had called with a few questions about what it was that she did exactly. I had spoken to her before and she had been very helpful (honestly I probably already owe her money even though I have yet to hire her- she was that helpful).
She gave me a bit of advice, she said don't let them get away with just doing a screening (they sometimes try this) she also said to look for an SLD category (dyslexia falls under this)and that my child should be seen by a speech pathologist (which was apparently not part of her testing that she's already had -remember that cost $1,500.00 and one would think that would be worth something but person after person has tried to be dismissive about what the findings were). I am not that good at remembering this kind of thing so I wrote it all down. Her timing could not have been better.
So there was lil ole me (sorry I was raised by Southerners and sometimes I fall back on that) walking into this meeting with a couple folks, or so I thought. Imagine my surprise when there were 2 people from the public school system, plus my kid's teacher, plus the principal (remember the old bag who tried more than once to dissuade me from having my daughter tested). I was sure wishin my husband was there with me at that point (he can be a real ball breaker while I am more mild-mannered, generally I know my place as a passive female in our society).
So guess what happened next. That principal pulled every book my daughter had read, every test score she had taken and everything she could to show how well my daughter had progressed. She kept talking about how there wasn't really a problem and basically tried to make me out to be some out-of-control nutcase.
Well at that point I already knew I was taking my daughter out of the school, which was quite helpful. I didn't reveal that information at any point since I didn't have any official paperwork signed or checks delivered but I'll tell you what I was astonished at this attack.
I had thougth we were simply setting a date for further testing to get the IEP.
The other day my kid had gotten her second report card for first grade and strangely every single issue that had made her first report card so lousy was suddenly fixed. I was surprised to say the least. Somehow every single issue became a non-issue? None of that made sense.
Until now. The principal pulled out that report card too and of course had her teacher say a few words about how she was progressing normally and so on.
After I picked my mouth up off the floor at this blatant attack I started to speak my piece, and the teacher and principal quickly interrupted.
I said that I had seen no evidence of any Orton-Gillingham instruction in my nightly reading with my daughter until after we actually had a diagnosis (despite the fact that the tutor is supposedly "trained" in O.G.).
The principal mentioned how my daughter had been out of school that week for 2 days at least twice, trying to make me look like a bad mother I assume (my daughter had been visiting the school for children with dyslexia both days per their request to see if she would fit with the rest of the class). I did not bite on this obvious bait.
But I was pissed when they interrupted. I could not understand their agenda in making my daughter seem as though there was nothing wrong (when we all knew that there was a learning difference). They knew I wanted the IEP for the scholarship money and that my family could most certainly use that money. So why? I will probably never know.
I cracked my verbal whip.
The principal knew every single point I was going to make (remember I had that nice conversation with her last Friday where I tried to get her to change her "Wait and See" tune).
But she didn't know what I found out last Sunday after church about the child with dyslexia who is now in 7th grade that they had told the parents to "Wait and See" until the parents moved to a supposedly learning difference friendly suburban school in 5th grade (she still doesn't have an IEP incidentally).
The principals lame response to my throwing that out was that their tutor wasn't Orton-Gillingham trained until two years ago (as if that let's any educator off the hook).
In the meanwhile thank God the public school official (and her sidekick) didn't buy the principals song and dance. She looked at the doctor's report and asked why I wanted the IEP.
I told her about my brother and how he had suffered back in the 1980's in an inner-city LD class (probably one of the worst in the state at the time). And I told her all I knew.
I told her I had been advised about what to ask for, got out my notes and then dropped the name of the child advocate.
Mean-ole mama bear was out and I wasn't going anyplace without a fight.
The public school lady agreed to my requests.
Whew.
The End (well not exactly)
Ps. I once had the meanest son-of-a-bitch-boss that ever lived. I kept a record of every detail of every verbal abuse with that nasty woman. My secret weapon in that situation served me well, I always had a tape recorder in my purse and I carried my purse with me at all times. Guess who had a tape recorder going at this meeting?
This is a legal document which parents can request to get from their public school. The parents local public school system is required by law to address a request for an evaluation by a parent (in any type of school within their district). Laws may differ in various states (I'm not sure).
In my opinion this is a very valuable document. If a child needed a wheelchair ramp to get to school this is something that would be written into an IEP.
Public schools are required to meet the needs specified within the IEP (an example for a child with dyslexia might be extra time to take a test). Private schools are not required to meet expectations within IEP's but they may formulate their own paperwork in order to accommodate a child's needs.
Here is my story:
I probably wouldn't have asked for an IEP evaluation so quickly except that in our state there is currently a large (over 7K) scholarship to pay for tutoring etc. and to get that scholarship one needs to have the IEP.
At $50-$75.00 per hour for a good Orton-Gillingham trained tutor the bills would really add up. Plus, there is an $1,800.00 summer camp that is for dyslexia (we are on the waiting list - it has been filled for 6 weeks already). In my house $7,0000 is a lot of money. By the end of this year of finding out about our child's dyslexia we will undoubtedly have spent this much.
I was scheduled to have a meeting with the public school official and a school official (the principal) of our Catholic school. I thought the meeting was to set up further testing (the public school always wants to do their own I heard).
My thought was that I would have a meeting (required) with the public school official, the principal of our current school and we were essentially setting up a time for further testing.
Usually my husband would attend a meeting regarding our child with me, but he had an important meeting at work on the other side of town so I was on my own.
(Side Note: I have found at our school that my husband is taken seriously while I am not considered to be anyone of consequence. I am not alone in this thinking, some of my mommy friends have felt that way too, but, as my husband says, they see a lot of mommies. I guess this is part of the reason a mommy isn't really taken too seriously around there, it couldn't possibly be the Catholic-take on women as lesser citizens is it?)
I went to the library to copy the doctor's paperwork for the meeting and on the way I got a call back from the Child Advocate that parents (mostly the suburban ones) end up hiring ($400 retainer and $80.00 per hour for this service) in order to get what they need in the way of IEP's. I had called with a few questions about what it was that she did exactly. I had spoken to her before and she had been very helpful (honestly I probably already owe her money even though I have yet to hire her- she was that helpful).
She gave me a bit of advice, she said don't let them get away with just doing a screening (they sometimes try this) she also said to look for an SLD category (dyslexia falls under this)and that my child should be seen by a speech pathologist (which was apparently not part of her testing that she's already had -remember that cost $1,500.00 and one would think that would be worth something but person after person has tried to be dismissive about what the findings were). I am not that good at remembering this kind of thing so I wrote it all down. Her timing could not have been better.
So there was lil ole me (sorry I was raised by Southerners and sometimes I fall back on that) walking into this meeting with a couple folks, or so I thought. Imagine my surprise when there were 2 people from the public school system, plus my kid's teacher, plus the principal (remember the old bag who tried more than once to dissuade me from having my daughter tested). I was sure wishin my husband was there with me at that point (he can be a real ball breaker while I am more mild-mannered, generally I know my place as a passive female in our society).
So guess what happened next. That principal pulled every book my daughter had read, every test score she had taken and everything she could to show how well my daughter had progressed. She kept talking about how there wasn't really a problem and basically tried to make me out to be some out-of-control nutcase.
Well at that point I already knew I was taking my daughter out of the school, which was quite helpful. I didn't reveal that information at any point since I didn't have any official paperwork signed or checks delivered but I'll tell you what I was astonished at this attack.
I had thougth we were simply setting a date for further testing to get the IEP.
The other day my kid had gotten her second report card for first grade and strangely every single issue that had made her first report card so lousy was suddenly fixed. I was surprised to say the least. Somehow every single issue became a non-issue? None of that made sense.
Until now. The principal pulled out that report card too and of course had her teacher say a few words about how she was progressing normally and so on.
After I picked my mouth up off the floor at this blatant attack I started to speak my piece, and the teacher and principal quickly interrupted.
I said that I had seen no evidence of any Orton-Gillingham instruction in my nightly reading with my daughter until after we actually had a diagnosis (despite the fact that the tutor is supposedly "trained" in O.G.).
The principal mentioned how my daughter had been out of school that week for 2 days at least twice, trying to make me look like a bad mother I assume (my daughter had been visiting the school for children with dyslexia both days per their request to see if she would fit with the rest of the class). I did not bite on this obvious bait.
But I was pissed when they interrupted. I could not understand their agenda in making my daughter seem as though there was nothing wrong (when we all knew that there was a learning difference). They knew I wanted the IEP for the scholarship money and that my family could most certainly use that money. So why? I will probably never know.
I cracked my verbal whip.
The principal knew every single point I was going to make (remember I had that nice conversation with her last Friday where I tried to get her to change her "Wait and See" tune).
But she didn't know what I found out last Sunday after church about the child with dyslexia who is now in 7th grade that they had told the parents to "Wait and See" until the parents moved to a supposedly learning difference friendly suburban school in 5th grade (she still doesn't have an IEP incidentally).
The principals lame response to my throwing that out was that their tutor wasn't Orton-Gillingham trained until two years ago (as if that let's any educator off the hook).
In the meanwhile thank God the public school official (and her sidekick) didn't buy the principals song and dance. She looked at the doctor's report and asked why I wanted the IEP.
I told her about my brother and how he had suffered back in the 1980's in an inner-city LD class (probably one of the worst in the state at the time). And I told her all I knew.
I told her I had been advised about what to ask for, got out my notes and then dropped the name of the child advocate.
Mean-ole mama bear was out and I wasn't going anyplace without a fight.
The public school lady agreed to my requests.
Whew.
The End (well not exactly)
Ps. I once had the meanest son-of-a-bitch-boss that ever lived. I kept a record of every detail of every verbal abuse with that nasty woman. My secret weapon in that situation served me well, I always had a tape recorder in my purse and I carried my purse with me at all times. Guess who had a tape recorder going at this meeting?
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