I want to tell a true story about a woman I knew that for purposes of this story I will call Barb.
Barb worked in a food pantry. She was the mother of 6 children who, by the time I knew her, were full grown adults.
Barb and her husband Frankie lived in a not-so-great part of town. They grew up there (before it was so bad) and they met at a gas station there, married and continued to live in this area for their whole lives.
Barb ran the food pantry for many years. She made sure orders were placed, dealt with clients, volunteers and food providers. It was no small job but I personally don't believe she was paid or treated very well despite her good work.
I knew the sort of verbal abuse she suffered at the hands of the woman manager who was in charge of the whole non-profit organization. I saw it all firsthand.
That manager had the sort of credentials that would have made anything Barb might have said against her seem untrue. Barb knew that. We all did.
The people who could have stopped the mean manager didn't have any idea the sort of abuses that were going on at the food pantry. They were the clueless board of directors, a group of mostly church people who didn't really want to know the reality of running a food pantry. They were well protected from any truth by the silver tongued manager.
Despite the manager's meanness Barb handled many kinds of people within the food pantry and she did her job well.
Still, she never really thought she could leave that mean and horrible manager and get a different job. It seemed that she didn't think anyone else would hire her.
Barb's husband Frankie was a volunteer at the food pantry (he was on disability). I don't think Barb could drive but Frankie could and did drive everywhere for the food pantry. Frankie did a lot for the food pantry as a volunteer and was never actually compensated in any real way for all his work.
It was always clear to me that Barb was in charge both at the food pantry and at home. She was intelligent and knew her way around in the world. Frankie would have done anything she asked him to do. They took care of each other.
Barb and Frankie were quite poor. In fact, they often lived off food from the food pantry themselves. They felt fortunate to have a roof over their heads and a junky old car to drive.
They never had enough for a big family dinner let alone Christmas presents for all their children and grandchildren. The one time they had a real Christmas was the year Frankie finally got his first Social Security disability check. That year they had everyone over and bought them all small gifts. They also bought a new-to-them minivan.
Despite such hardships they stayed married and lead honest lives.
When I saw them, Barb's words were almost always misspelled and her handwriting was like a child's. She was clearly wonderfully intelligent and had learned to work well in her surroundings but my guess is and will always be that she had dyslexia and really never got what she needed as far as schooling was concerned. She was clearly a bit embarrassed by her handwriting. She also had no knowledge of how to use a computer.
By the time I knew her Barb had diabetes but she did not follow what would have been prudent measures. Frankie's health was what one might expect with a man who had been impoverished his whole life, poor dental health and plenty of other complications.
Frankie died first, suddenly, a few years ago. I believe he was in his late 50's. Barb quickly followed him to the grave. Their daughter told me that Barb never did recover from Frankie's death. I believe her.
The part I wonder about- the part that haunts me- is whether it would have made a difference in Barb's life if she has gotten what she needed as far as her learning difference was concerned.
I'll never know.
Somehow it still seemed worthwhile to tell this story of these people. Barb and Frankie, people who I know will be deeply missed.
Monday, July 30, 2012
Our rural friends
One thing I learned from my child advocate was that while they had never been hired up to that point by a parent in my (city) school district, they had been hired all over our state often times in rural areas. I found that interesting.
This past weekend I spent some time with friends who live in a VERY rural area. It didn't take long for me to ask how their (same age as my daughter) liked school and so on. Here is the story:
There are 2 towns, Smallville and Betterfield. Smallville folk knows it's the underdog area. Betterfield likes the idea that it's bigger and better than Smallville. Smallville had it's day back in the 1950's and 60's when the middle class still had a decent hold in the rural U.S. Nowadays Betterfield is now the "better" school district and you can even tell when the marching bands play in the parade which one is the more sought after. One is more show offy and one is more humble. This sort of story plays out all over the place all the time.
Our friends are at Betterfield. After all it's supposedly better.
One might think "better" would mean that more than the marching band was better but no, same old song and dance with school districts and learning differences and teaching methods as a (cynical) parent, already knows.
Without any access at all to schools that specialize in dyslexia or much knowledge about child advocates or the IEP process guess how some rural people are coping? Read on.
The grandmother of this little girl knew that she wasn't learning how to read at school and was falling behind, so she, the grandmother, checked out a book about teaching phonics from the local library.
She said she had been renewing the book for the past 3 months, only returning it when she had to. She had been teaching her to read at home on her own.
She said she had seen real improvement in her graqnddaughter's reading as a result.
This past weekend I spent some time with friends who live in a VERY rural area. It didn't take long for me to ask how their (same age as my daughter) liked school and so on. Here is the story:
There are 2 towns, Smallville and Betterfield. Smallville folk knows it's the underdog area. Betterfield likes the idea that it's bigger and better than Smallville. Smallville had it's day back in the 1950's and 60's when the middle class still had a decent hold in the rural U.S. Nowadays Betterfield is now the "better" school district and you can even tell when the marching bands play in the parade which one is the more sought after. One is more show offy and one is more humble. This sort of story plays out all over the place all the time.
Our friends are at Betterfield. After all it's supposedly better.
One might think "better" would mean that more than the marching band was better but no, same old song and dance with school districts and learning differences and teaching methods as a (cynical) parent, already knows.
Without any access at all to schools that specialize in dyslexia or much knowledge about child advocates or the IEP process guess how some rural people are coping? Read on.
The grandmother of this little girl knew that she wasn't learning how to read at school and was falling behind, so she, the grandmother, checked out a book about teaching phonics from the local library.
She said she had been renewing the book for the past 3 months, only returning it when she had to. She had been teaching her to read at home on her own.
She said she had seen real improvement in her graqnddaughter's reading as a result.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
I've been seeing more traffic on this blog than normal so I would like to welcome any new readers and say thank you for your visit.
Now on to dyslexia and the IEP process:
It has nearly been a year now that I've known we have a learning difference in our family.
I am now well versed in the excuses and unethical (and unknowingly wrong) behaviors of many school professionals but I'm still amazed that recently I've heard these incorrect pronouncements regarding IEP's (Individualized Education Programs):
1. "You have to be two years behind in reading in order to be considered for an IEP"
UNTRUE, there is no number of years a child has to behind in order to begin the IEP process. The sooner you, the parent, begins to know more about how your child's brain works (aka: diagnosis) the better.
There is an abundance of valuable free testing that the public school is required to provide at your request. They don't have the right to refuse your request but they certainly have a great deal of experience at it and it is the general rule of thumb that many districts and school professionals will say whatever the have to not to have to do the extra work.
Do not let the school district get out of doing this testing because many of them (perhaps) do not know their obligations.
2. "The school district told us that they wont write an IEP until second grade"
INCORRECT, the school district does not get to determine what grade to write an IEP in and a child can qualify even in preschool.
In the case of a child with a known physical disability school professionals know better than to try to put off a parent who is requesting (and needing) an IEP (for wheelchair access as an example) but in a the case of a learning difference like dyslexia it often doesn't show itself until the child is struggling to read and obviously having trouble next to their peers.
This is the glitch that lets a great deal of school professionals push parents off. The parents don't know (we are new here) and the school districts and their cronies know this. Many of them have been pushing away concerned parents for many years.
This is where parents of children of learning differences such as dyslexia need to bond together and share information.
I follow a number of groups that are concerned with dyslexia and are run by parents who are FED-UP with the nonsense and misinformation that is being passed around by the school districts.
I will only give a small benefit of the doubt to school professionals here: sometimes many of these people are simply BADLY INFORMED.
Is it malicious? I do think that many times there is a ringleader who misinforms the others. Like any office setting there is that "go-to person" who supposedly knows what they are talking about with IEP's and the whole gang follows whatever that person says, not investigating it for themselves.
It often takes a big wake up call for a district to start acting appropriately
For example, a school district near my house was sued for $150,000 for not following the law for a child with dyslexia.
I know that sounds like a lot of money but this child had to suffer for many years and the school district wronged this family for well over a decade. This family had the means to hire the premier attorney in the whole United States for this issue: Peter Wright in the Virginia area. (I follow his website at www.wrightslaw.com)
You, the parent need to make your mission to know more than the teachers or district or whoever is putting you off.
Sadly, I personally only saw our public school system give my daughter the testing she was legally entitled to (and that they are required by law to provide at my parental request) after I hired a professional child advocate.
While I think this is money was well spent I certainly wish more school professionals were not only more ethically minded and/or better informed.
In our case I was very much prepared to take the time and energy to get to a due process hearing (this is essentially suing the school district). It was clear to me that we were being wronged but I have huge advantage over many parents who aer new to learning differences. My family has been dealing with a known learning difference (dyslexia) for 2 generations now.
Whatever flavor of excuse to not write an IEP is being pushed on to your family or someone you know do not let your mission to get your child tested/diagnosed/ an IEP be de-railed.
Go to your state educational website and investigate the process for filing a complaint.
Also call a local child advocate and have a talk (you can find them listed by state on the website I mentioned above). My child advocate gave me a great deal of free advice before I ever paid a penny.
Now on to dyslexia and the IEP process:
It has nearly been a year now that I've known we have a learning difference in our family.
I am now well versed in the excuses and unethical (and unknowingly wrong) behaviors of many school professionals but I'm still amazed that recently I've heard these incorrect pronouncements regarding IEP's (Individualized Education Programs):
1. "You have to be two years behind in reading in order to be considered for an IEP"
UNTRUE, there is no number of years a child has to behind in order to begin the IEP process. The sooner you, the parent, begins to know more about how your child's brain works (aka: diagnosis) the better.
There is an abundance of valuable free testing that the public school is required to provide at your request. They don't have the right to refuse your request but they certainly have a great deal of experience at it and it is the general rule of thumb that many districts and school professionals will say whatever the have to not to have to do the extra work.
Do not let the school district get out of doing this testing because many of them (perhaps) do not know their obligations.
2. "The school district told us that they wont write an IEP until second grade"
INCORRECT, the school district does not get to determine what grade to write an IEP in and a child can qualify even in preschool.
In the case of a child with a known physical disability school professionals know better than to try to put off a parent who is requesting (and needing) an IEP (for wheelchair access as an example) but in a the case of a learning difference like dyslexia it often doesn't show itself until the child is struggling to read and obviously having trouble next to their peers.
This is the glitch that lets a great deal of school professionals push parents off. The parents don't know (we are new here) and the school districts and their cronies know this. Many of them have been pushing away concerned parents for many years.
This is where parents of children of learning differences such as dyslexia need to bond together and share information.
I follow a number of groups that are concerned with dyslexia and are run by parents who are FED-UP with the nonsense and misinformation that is being passed around by the school districts.
I will only give a small benefit of the doubt to school professionals here: sometimes many of these people are simply BADLY INFORMED.
Is it malicious? I do think that many times there is a ringleader who misinforms the others. Like any office setting there is that "go-to person" who supposedly knows what they are talking about with IEP's and the whole gang follows whatever that person says, not investigating it for themselves.
It often takes a big wake up call for a district to start acting appropriately
For example, a school district near my house was sued for $150,000 for not following the law for a child with dyslexia.
I know that sounds like a lot of money but this child had to suffer for many years and the school district wronged this family for well over a decade. This family had the means to hire the premier attorney in the whole United States for this issue: Peter Wright in the Virginia area. (I follow his website at www.wrightslaw.com)
You, the parent need to make your mission to know more than the teachers or district or whoever is putting you off.
Sadly, I personally only saw our public school system give my daughter the testing she was legally entitled to (and that they are required by law to provide at my parental request) after I hired a professional child advocate.
While I think this is money was well spent I certainly wish more school professionals were not only more ethically minded and/or better informed.
In our case I was very much prepared to take the time and energy to get to a due process hearing (this is essentially suing the school district). It was clear to me that we were being wronged but I have huge advantage over many parents who aer new to learning differences. My family has been dealing with a known learning difference (dyslexia) for 2 generations now.
Whatever flavor of excuse to not write an IEP is being pushed on to your family or someone you know do not let your mission to get your child tested/diagnosed/ an IEP be de-railed.
Go to your state educational website and investigate the process for filing a complaint.
Also call a local child advocate and have a talk (you can find them listed by state on the website I mentioned above). My child advocate gave me a great deal of free advice before I ever paid a penny.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Figure a timeline such as this one:
Sept-Oct 2011- bad teacher reports about not paying attention etc.
Nov 2011- I begin to search frantically for a doctor to test our daughter quickly
Dec 2011- testing (after a one month waiting list)
Dec 2011 - I meet a lady in the grocery store who knows about people who tutor children with dyslexia for free. I am excited to learn of such a thing
Jan 2012- test results: dyslexia
Jan 2012- search all over for any tutor at all who will work with her, send paperwork to free tutoring place
Feb 2012- realize I am not going to find anyone this way and we need help. Stick her in expensive (and worth it- private school for Orton-Gillingham immersion. Thank you God!
June 2012- Get a letter from free tutoring place saying they will accept her for fall tutoring but need to assess her.
This brings me to now. I called the free tutoring place the other day (I had been putting them off because I wasn't certain if she could go back to the private school or not and didn't want her tested needlessly -again). I was honest about where she was at with her school and situation.
Here is what I found out. Their agenda isn't so much providing free tutoring as it is providing training for people who want to learn the Orton-Gillingham method (mostly teachers). Geesh good thing I didn't have to rely on that for my daughter.
Okay so yes I come to this from a parent's point of view but they really want children who have had NO real experience with Orton-Gillingham, this gets in the way of their training. They want to go through the whole sequence themselves with the child. Mostly parents have private help already but they find that out after they have accepted the child and put them into their program.
Their customer (the REAL customer) is the teacher who wants to learn to tutor Orton-Gillingham.
I'm still digesting all this. I'm sort of in shock that it really is THIS DAMN BAD for parents of children with dyslexia.
So while in my own personal life my child is 90% likely to go back to her fantastic private school (thank you God!) I cant help but think of all the children in my community (and throughout the country) who are 1. Not getting the teaching methods they need in school 2. Not really going to have too much opportunity outside of a school setting to get the teaching methods they need.
This is not okay. I personally see our educational system as in a state of emergency until learning differences can start to be handled in such a way as a small fortune isn't required to get children what they need to learn to read.
Our society is digging a very deep hole for itself.
Classism has got to go and so has No Child Left Behind. The entire system of writing IEP's needs revamped and we are going to need boatloads of people who are able to teach adults to read one day if this country is ever to maintain it's position as a first world country.
Sept-Oct 2011- bad teacher reports about not paying attention etc.
Nov 2011- I begin to search frantically for a doctor to test our daughter quickly
Dec 2011- testing (after a one month waiting list)
Dec 2011 - I meet a lady in the grocery store who knows about people who tutor children with dyslexia for free. I am excited to learn of such a thing
Jan 2012- test results: dyslexia
Jan 2012- search all over for any tutor at all who will work with her, send paperwork to free tutoring place
Feb 2012- realize I am not going to find anyone this way and we need help. Stick her in expensive (and worth it- private school for Orton-Gillingham immersion. Thank you God!
June 2012- Get a letter from free tutoring place saying they will accept her for fall tutoring but need to assess her.
This brings me to now. I called the free tutoring place the other day (I had been putting them off because I wasn't certain if she could go back to the private school or not and didn't want her tested needlessly -again). I was honest about where she was at with her school and situation.
Here is what I found out. Their agenda isn't so much providing free tutoring as it is providing training for people who want to learn the Orton-Gillingham method (mostly teachers). Geesh good thing I didn't have to rely on that for my daughter.
Okay so yes I come to this from a parent's point of view but they really want children who have had NO real experience with Orton-Gillingham, this gets in the way of their training. They want to go through the whole sequence themselves with the child. Mostly parents have private help already but they find that out after they have accepted the child and put them into their program.
Their customer (the REAL customer) is the teacher who wants to learn to tutor Orton-Gillingham.
I'm still digesting all this. I'm sort of in shock that it really is THIS DAMN BAD for parents of children with dyslexia.
So while in my own personal life my child is 90% likely to go back to her fantastic private school (thank you God!) I cant help but think of all the children in my community (and throughout the country) who are 1. Not getting the teaching methods they need in school 2. Not really going to have too much opportunity outside of a school setting to get the teaching methods they need.
This is not okay. I personally see our educational system as in a state of emergency until learning differences can start to be handled in such a way as a small fortune isn't required to get children what they need to learn to read.
Our society is digging a very deep hole for itself.
Classism has got to go and so has No Child Left Behind. The entire system of writing IEP's needs revamped and we are going to need boatloads of people who are able to teach adults to read one day if this country is ever to maintain it's position as a first world country.
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