Imagine that you are eating some good old home cooked food (like my Granny used to make on the farm). It's nourishing, local and it meets all nutritional needs.
Now imagine that there is a new way to prepare food.
It's fast, cheap, it tastes good and for some people it meets their nutritional needs (or at least it seems to). But mostly it's fast and goes down easily for most folks and that seems good.
Now imagine that the cheap fast food is not good for everyone. For some people it's actually a slow working poison. They don't notice it at first but as time goes on it becomes more and more obvious that it doesn't meet their nutritional needs.
Pretty soon there are so many complications with that fast, cheap food that they don't even really realize it was a problem with the food in the first place.
To my thinking this is what has happened with teaching children to read. It used to be there were phonics, you know, sound-out-the-word, even Sesame Street had lots of phonics. But somewhere along the line someone realized that site words worked faster for most kids. Never mind that it didn't work for everyone there were always going to be some slow-pokes in any pack right?
The whole teaching world was abuzz, faster, better. Just teach site words- terrific, they all said to each other. So Kindergarten became more like first grade, get rid of all those toys and wasted play time, we know how to teach these kids to READ. First grade was more like second grade and if you wanted a break into a school-like setting you'd better go to a Preschool and/or Pre-Kindergarten class (which was really more like what Kindergarten used to be like).
Faster. Cheaper. Easier.
Only for 20% of the population that sort of teaching is a slow working poison. It doesn't teach them to read. It doesn't meet their mind's nutritional needs.
So those people are the victims of this great new technology and they are left to fend for themselves and let me tell you that is what this blog is all about, a mother seeing her daughter already starting to starve. I will help her gather the food she needs and in the process maybe someone will read this and it will help them not to starve also.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Monday, January 30, 2012
5 schools plus homeschool
I have now looked closely (as a parent) at 5 elementary schools and they weren't all Catholic (in the interest of privacy these are not the real names):
1. Overpriced rich-kid school
2. Our Mother of the Pines
3. St. Arnold's
4. Public School Elementary
5. School for children with Dyslexia
6 the homeschool option
1. We went to Overpriced rich-kid school back when my kid was just a little thing and they had a once a week mommy-and-me program. I wanted to see what this sort of education looked like up close and personal. I got more than I bargained for.
This school had everything money could buy in excess. Plus warm and fuzzy teachers (at least in the lower grades) and VERY small classes. It would be difficult for a normal kid not to do well in this sort of environment.
While I did not know at the time about my child's learning difference I can tell you that these teachers were not educated in the area of learning differences and my child would have still had to have outside tutoring and possibly suffered at their hands.
Money doesn't make a school (although all schools need some).
I also found traits I didn't care for. There was quite a bit of trickery involved in the creation of their supposedly fantastic education (I'd love to go into it but not today).
There was a lot of intense competition in all realms (this is typical of the middle/ upper middle class in my opinion) which I don't think is healthy for children.
I also found it to be rather sorority-like so as long as you were paying your dues you were in but the minute they thought you might de-pledge they had no use for you (so phony).
2. Our Mother of the Pines
The problem with this school was that it had what I think of as classic school problems. Burnt out teachers, a principal who needed to retire, a competitive group of parents who lacked the cohesive working-together attitude that is so needed in a smaller, less well funded school.
There were a lot of people who were only there because for so many generations their families had gone there. This is how it gave off such a "stuck in 1952" attitude. In many ways it was a sweet school but what I had originally hoped for from it I quickly learned was my own rose-colored glasses viewing of it. It had many good points but the "wait and see" attitude I have now seen firsthand has done serious damage to more than one child. I cant get over that. I now mistrust it and see many of it's faculty as too careless for my family.
3. St. Arnold's
This was the school I was hoping was such a learning difference friendly Catholic school. I no longer think that (obviously) after the way I was booted out before I ever even went there. I don't care about the things that these people do. Sports aren't a big issue for me, education is. I do want to mention again that the principal changed their mind and said we could come after all and we still may but I wont be forgetting that anytime soon and frankly I sense trouble up ahead if we ever go this route. While I think they could manage to educate my child they even suggested we go for a spell to the School for kids with Dyslexia (which was a good idea really).
Possibly I may try to tackle the Catholic Church on this one issue: You NEED to have Dyslexia friendly Catholic education available.
As a Methodist I've always said I wont try to take on the Catholic Church but I may on this one point.
4. Public School Elementary
I really gave this a chance. I went there, took a tour, talked to parents I knew (legions of them). I found it to be a great school. It's in our neighborhood. It has a great reputation. The parents are all very involved. It is a nice place and it's free.
But........... The school psychologist was a major jerk (many reasons).
The tutor was a jerk ("I only teach to the IEP").
And it could take a year to 2 years to get the IEP with these people!
Remember my motto: Early Intervention! Anyone standing in the way of that is the enemy.
After both conversations I hung up the phone and thanked my lucky stars that I had more options than this. (God Bless the folks who don't).
I have my own long story about my experience as the product of City Public School (the same one). I will share it in a post soon.
5. School for children with Dyslexia
This is where my daughter is today. She is visiting. We went to the open house yesterday and I have been there 3 times this past week. The kids seem happy there. It is truly a private school with a 5 kid to 1 teacher average ratio (in the lower grades). My brother went there years ago (after my mother hit the panic button when he couldn't read by 4th grade). It is hugely hugely expensive. Basically out of reach except that it's not, sometimes we must buy things that we think we cannot afford and somehow it will work out to pay for them. This is the way I'm thinking right now. Are we going to end up here? I don't know. My husband is having a really hard time with it all. It's not Catholic. She is due to take first communion next year with her class (no, I don't really care personally but I do care that he cares).
Still, I have an inkling, well more than that, this would be the best place, at least for a little while. They have a lot of kids come in and out since it is so expensive.
God help us.
6. Homeschool
My husband said the other day, "I see why people homeschool."
We have a lot of people in our neighborhood that homeschool so I can tell you at least 3-5 examples of what that looks like to me but...... there is too much I don't care for about it.
Plus, all the people we know who do it have kids that are weird. Sorry to be so harsh but that's how it looks to me. They may be smart but there are weird. Some of them are mean. Some of them just flat out wont talk to you or your kids. Some of them don't have the most basic skills around adults. (I'm weird too by the way but I'm hoping my kids turn out okay despite that fact).
So there it is. A summary of 6 school options.
1. Overpriced rich-kid school
2. Our Mother of the Pines
3. St. Arnold's
4. Public School Elementary
5. School for children with Dyslexia
6 the homeschool option
1. We went to Overpriced rich-kid school back when my kid was just a little thing and they had a once a week mommy-and-me program. I wanted to see what this sort of education looked like up close and personal. I got more than I bargained for.
This school had everything money could buy in excess. Plus warm and fuzzy teachers (at least in the lower grades) and VERY small classes. It would be difficult for a normal kid not to do well in this sort of environment.
While I did not know at the time about my child's learning difference I can tell you that these teachers were not educated in the area of learning differences and my child would have still had to have outside tutoring and possibly suffered at their hands.
Money doesn't make a school (although all schools need some).
I also found traits I didn't care for. There was quite a bit of trickery involved in the creation of their supposedly fantastic education (I'd love to go into it but not today).
There was a lot of intense competition in all realms (this is typical of the middle/ upper middle class in my opinion) which I don't think is healthy for children.
I also found it to be rather sorority-like so as long as you were paying your dues you were in but the minute they thought you might de-pledge they had no use for you (so phony).
2. Our Mother of the Pines
The problem with this school was that it had what I think of as classic school problems. Burnt out teachers, a principal who needed to retire, a competitive group of parents who lacked the cohesive working-together attitude that is so needed in a smaller, less well funded school.
There were a lot of people who were only there because for so many generations their families had gone there. This is how it gave off such a "stuck in 1952" attitude. In many ways it was a sweet school but what I had originally hoped for from it I quickly learned was my own rose-colored glasses viewing of it. It had many good points but the "wait and see" attitude I have now seen firsthand has done serious damage to more than one child. I cant get over that. I now mistrust it and see many of it's faculty as too careless for my family.
3. St. Arnold's
This was the school I was hoping was such a learning difference friendly Catholic school. I no longer think that (obviously) after the way I was booted out before I ever even went there. I don't care about the things that these people do. Sports aren't a big issue for me, education is. I do want to mention again that the principal changed their mind and said we could come after all and we still may but I wont be forgetting that anytime soon and frankly I sense trouble up ahead if we ever go this route. While I think they could manage to educate my child they even suggested we go for a spell to the School for kids with Dyslexia (which was a good idea really).
Possibly I may try to tackle the Catholic Church on this one issue: You NEED to have Dyslexia friendly Catholic education available.
As a Methodist I've always said I wont try to take on the Catholic Church but I may on this one point.
4. Public School Elementary
I really gave this a chance. I went there, took a tour, talked to parents I knew (legions of them). I found it to be a great school. It's in our neighborhood. It has a great reputation. The parents are all very involved. It is a nice place and it's free.
But........... The school psychologist was a major jerk (many reasons).
The tutor was a jerk ("I only teach to the IEP").
And it could take a year to 2 years to get the IEP with these people!
Remember my motto: Early Intervention! Anyone standing in the way of that is the enemy.
After both conversations I hung up the phone and thanked my lucky stars that I had more options than this. (God Bless the folks who don't).
I have my own long story about my experience as the product of City Public School (the same one). I will share it in a post soon.
5. School for children with Dyslexia
This is where my daughter is today. She is visiting. We went to the open house yesterday and I have been there 3 times this past week. The kids seem happy there. It is truly a private school with a 5 kid to 1 teacher average ratio (in the lower grades). My brother went there years ago (after my mother hit the panic button when he couldn't read by 4th grade). It is hugely hugely expensive. Basically out of reach except that it's not, sometimes we must buy things that we think we cannot afford and somehow it will work out to pay for them. This is the way I'm thinking right now. Are we going to end up here? I don't know. My husband is having a really hard time with it all. It's not Catholic. She is due to take first communion next year with her class (no, I don't really care personally but I do care that he cares).
Still, I have an inkling, well more than that, this would be the best place, at least for a little while. They have a lot of kids come in and out since it is so expensive.
God help us.
6. Homeschool
My husband said the other day, "I see why people homeschool."
We have a lot of people in our neighborhood that homeschool so I can tell you at least 3-5 examples of what that looks like to me but...... there is too much I don't care for about it.
Plus, all the people we know who do it have kids that are weird. Sorry to be so harsh but that's how it looks to me. They may be smart but there are weird. Some of them are mean. Some of them just flat out wont talk to you or your kids. Some of them don't have the most basic skills around adults. (I'm weird too by the way but I'm hoping my kids turn out okay despite that fact).
So there it is. A summary of 6 school options.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Privacy, gossip and this blog
Because I want and need to speak openly and honestly about this experience I feel it is best that this remain a rather private blog.
I am going to speak about many different school adminstrators and schools and professionals and I need to know that I'm not hurting anyone too terribly. Hence the privacy factor.
Throughout the course of writing this I cannot say for certain that everything will always be private.
I am learning some very helpful information about people and scholarships (for example) that I may feel it is best to share.
In the meanwhile though I tell these truths as I see them with the knowledge that I have not revealed too much information that could hurt others.
I am going to speak about many different school adminstrators and schools and professionals and I need to know that I'm not hurting anyone too terribly. Hence the privacy factor.
Throughout the course of writing this I cannot say for certain that everything will always be private.
I am learning some very helpful information about people and scholarships (for example) that I may feel it is best to share.
In the meanwhile though I tell these truths as I see them with the knowledge that I have not revealed too much information that could hurt others.
More new stories
In the process of figuring out where to go next I learn other people's stories about their children and it makes me grateful.
On Friday I had a pow-wow over the phone with our current Catholic school principal where I was able to speak calmly and honestly about not appreciating the numerous times I was told by her and her staff to, "wait and see".
In only two weeks time (since we gave the diagnosis of dyslexia to the school tutor) she has been improving by the tutor using the Orton-Gillingham approach (before the diagnosis she was using Reading Recover which doesn't work for dyslexia). Now I have seen her actually sounding out the words, before that, no.
"Wait and see, she will catch up," our current school staff and principal had said over and over in varying ways.
"It will all click in by fourth grade." The principal herself had the story that she didn't learn to read until second grade because she realized people were having fun reading and she wasn't. Then she suddenly learned.
Okay, so that was her personal story but as an educator that is a small viewpoint and quite misguided. I have my own learning-to-read-late story which I will tell here at a later date but first I want to tell the story I heard today.
There was a family with numerous children at our small Catholic school. The eldest excelled, the youngest was fine but one of the other children in the family showed many signs of trouble from an early age. The school kept saying, "wait and see," (the same way they did to me).
So the parents waited, and waited. By the third grade the child could still barely read and the tutoring the school did was barely any help.
Finally, they had their child tested by a doctor (not one of the best either but at least they were able to identify dyslexia with other complications). Knowing this the parents moved the whole family out to one of the suburban districts which is supposedly known for being helpful with learning differences.
They still don't have an IEP (Individual Education Plan) and their daughter fails the many standardized tests on a regular basis. Her favorite letter is C on any multiple choice exam.
She is now in 7th grade, very far behind and still not getting what she needs. They told me that even the public suburban school says, "wait and see." They have no more patience left.
In most cases school personnel do not want to act on your child's behalf to discover the reason they are not where the other kids are. They would rather tell parents to, "Wait and See". DO NOT BELIEVE THIS.
If your child is not where the other children are in school go and have them tested by a trained professional immediately. Find the most reputable neuropsychologist you can, get on the waiting list if necessary and pay the money.
EARLY INTERVENTION is the motto we parents must have.
"Wait and see" is your family's enemy, mistrust those who tell you such things no matter how nicely they put it.
Incidentally, your own denial is also your child's enemy but I will speak about that in another post.
On Friday I had a pow-wow over the phone with our current Catholic school principal where I was able to speak calmly and honestly about not appreciating the numerous times I was told by her and her staff to, "wait and see".
In only two weeks time (since we gave the diagnosis of dyslexia to the school tutor) she has been improving by the tutor using the Orton-Gillingham approach (before the diagnosis she was using Reading Recover which doesn't work for dyslexia). Now I have seen her actually sounding out the words, before that, no.
"Wait and see, she will catch up," our current school staff and principal had said over and over in varying ways.
"It will all click in by fourth grade." The principal herself had the story that she didn't learn to read until second grade because she realized people were having fun reading and she wasn't. Then she suddenly learned.
Okay, so that was her personal story but as an educator that is a small viewpoint and quite misguided. I have my own learning-to-read-late story which I will tell here at a later date but first I want to tell the story I heard today.
There was a family with numerous children at our small Catholic school. The eldest excelled, the youngest was fine but one of the other children in the family showed many signs of trouble from an early age. The school kept saying, "wait and see," (the same way they did to me).
So the parents waited, and waited. By the third grade the child could still barely read and the tutoring the school did was barely any help.
Finally, they had their child tested by a doctor (not one of the best either but at least they were able to identify dyslexia with other complications). Knowing this the parents moved the whole family out to one of the suburban districts which is supposedly known for being helpful with learning differences.
They still don't have an IEP (Individual Education Plan) and their daughter fails the many standardized tests on a regular basis. Her favorite letter is C on any multiple choice exam.
She is now in 7th grade, very far behind and still not getting what she needs. They told me that even the public suburban school says, "wait and see." They have no more patience left.
In most cases school personnel do not want to act on your child's behalf to discover the reason they are not where the other kids are. They would rather tell parents to, "Wait and See". DO NOT BELIEVE THIS.
If your child is not where the other children are in school go and have them tested by a trained professional immediately. Find the most reputable neuropsychologist you can, get on the waiting list if necessary and pay the money.
EARLY INTERVENTION is the motto we parents must have.
"Wait and see" is your family's enemy, mistrust those who tell you such things no matter how nicely they put it.
Incidentally, your own denial is also your child's enemy but I will speak about that in another post.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Selling my favorite china
This china is the most beautiful pattern the Franciscan company ever created. It's called Wild Flower and I basically covet it (I know, that word, a sin- I know).
This pattern was only produced for a few years in the early 1940's and quickly stopped because it was so time consuming (read: expensive) to make. It's quite rare. A teapot easily goes for over $1K and if Martha Stewart ever found out about and showed it off in one of her magazines it it would be worth more a lot more than that.
We have NEVER once eaten off it, so last night we did, I took photos and then placed the whole lot into an online ebay auction.
I'm happy to report that there is a bidding war currently going on for it. The price has already greatly exceeded my expectations. Thank God! I need as much money as I can get right now for our tutors and or a new school.
Selling whatever I have to insure my child gets the education she needs is a no-brainer for me. I dont currently work outside of the home but I have amassed a nice collection of china and glassware that I can sell. My mother has offered to sell all her antique jewelry so that we can go to the school for dyslexic children ($20K per year official tuition cost).
We are certainly not poor (I grew up with very little so I know what that looks like) but we are not wealthy either. ($20K per year would be almost prohibitive). We live off one income. We are comfortable but getting into this world of needing extra help for our child is expensive. Still, today makes me feel like I can be resourceful.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
My theatre background
A moment to talk about me- I was in the theatre for many years and have a great deal of experience banging my head against a wall, being told no, not being called back, getting called fat (oh sorry, I digress). Anyhow the point here is that I am persistent. Yes, I am.
Note to Universe: The theatre was a great training ground for not letting up. If your child ever says they want to study theatre - let them! It may come in handy if they ever need to advocate for their kid.
A Timeline
A timeline of events:
October: A surprisingly poor performance review by the first grade teacher who frankly comes across as someone who would rather be someplace else.
I was also the reading helper at school working with the whole class 1 day per month. I saw that most of the other girls were far ahead of my own child in reading. So I began the process of getting an appointment with a neuropsychologist. I decided to go with a doctor who only had a one month waiting list rather than the name brand doctor who had a 4 month waiting list.
November: parent interview with neuropsychologist. Total cost: $1500.00 with our insurance reimbursing $450 since this was out of network. (I wonder what impoverished people do when they are in a panic about their children? I say many thanks and am grateful.) There are only 2 doctors in this town worth anything that do this work (I will talk about this more later) which is why we were out of network. There were 7 different questionaire in this process 2 for me, 2 for husband, 2 for the teacher and 1 for the tutor.
Her school tutor told me, "she isnt behind the rest of the class is just really bright".
Our principal gave a tight lipped reluctant-to-help-you attitude saying only "everyone catches up at some point". I disagree (quietly) and proceed to have testing done.
December: testing (a 6 hour process broken into 2 days 3 hours each). My daughter is sick with a stomach flu the night before both of these days but there is no way I'm rescheduling. I always have the sense that I'm losing time here.
January 4th: diagnosis of dyslexia. My husband took it harder than I did. I sort of already knew. This is the benefit of having seen my brother with it growing up. I knew it was manageable.
The doctor had plenty to say of course but I think he could have dwelled a little more on what her strengths are: great memory, she can rhythm, well developed language skills etc.
January 5th: began to work toward getting a tutor and information about a computer program that was suggested. Found wall, began to bang head against it.
January something (?) Had what our current school principal called a preliminary meeting to work on meeting what the doctor said my kid needs. Met with tutor, principal and first grade teacher. Nothing accomplished. Resisted urge to throw their words about catching up etc back at them. Noticed that they have no use for me but hang on husband's every word. Wondered about how backwardly sexist the Catholic community really is. Resolve to start calling Sister Barbara --Mother McKenzie instead and call Father Shoemaker Brother Kevin (just kidding). Resolve again not to convert until Catholics ordain women priests.
January 15-January 20: Had thought we could change to a more dyslexia friendly Catholic school (very important to huband and in-laws - not important to me -I'm Methodist).
Catholic School Option #2 has other kids with learning differences, an actual special education director and trained Orton-Gillingham tutor. Had 2 meetings, Husband had a meeting. Saw the school. Introduced my daughter and they tested her.
It ended up I was shot down on Friday by the principal who said that he would kick us out if she wasn't reading at a 2.0 level by the start of 2nd grade. While I think she could have made that she had only been given Orton-Gillingham style tutoring for 2 weeks at that point and was only beginning to be able to sound out the words (something that they used to teach as a standard thing in schools but now who knows?) Went home and cried. Wondered what people did who are in a sort of Mrs. Gump position (without many other options like I have in my city).
January 21: Began letter to the Head of Catholic Schools reporting discriminatory position of this principal. An excellently scathing letter if I may say so myself. Husband yelled at me not to send it and cause trouble.
January 23: Was told Mr. Mean Principal of Catholic school #2 called my husband back to say he had reconsidered his position and we could come anyway. Didn't send scathing letter. Still have bad taste in my mouth. Need to go to church this week and try to forgive people for not knowing a damn thing about this subject.
January 5-January 25: Worked toward getting a tutor or even getting on a waiting list. Emailed and called and submitted paperwork to, oh heck lets make a sublist:
1. The supposedly greatest tutor in my neighborhood, 3 emails and 2 phone calls and one email back to say she had a waiting list. I still don't know if I'm on it or not and it's been about 2 weeks.
2. A lady who advertises in the parents paper. No call back yet. Actually I had talked to her before our diagnosis and wasn't terribly impressed. Here is the reason: a lot of people are supposedly Orton-Gillingham trained but that term is used rather loosely it seems. Did they learn in a one day seminar or put in a lot of time to really "get it"? I'm new here and so these are the sorts of questions running through my mind. Plus she lives far away.
3. The local Children's Dyslexia Center funded by the Masonic temple. Bless you Masons for seeing a community need and responding to it. Here is the problem- in my city the waiting list is 2 years long (although I guess sometimes folks get lucky). Also I cant seem to get a phone call or email back to see if the paperwork I sent in on January 5th has been received.
4. Emailed acquaintance to get their supposedly great tutor's info. Talked to tutor who of course was so booked she didn't even have a waiting list I could be on. (Begin to wonder if this isn't personal and I'm smelly and gross or something- shake off this thought and keep looking for a tutor).
5. Had a number of a person whose job it is to advocate for families with children with special needs. Thought I'd call just to see if I can get any info. $400.00 retainer and $80.00. Most of the time the people who hire her live in the suburbs and cant get what they need for their kid from the supposedly wonderfully learning difference friendly school systems all that tax money is paying for. Count lucky stars again and wonder if anyone really ever does get what they need from their school system (once again, wonder what poor people do?)
6. Contacted my local International dyselxia association which has a tutor list but they only return phone calls and emails via volunteers. I guess there are no volunteers these days because I have yet to hear anything.
7. Just today I finally got onto a waiting list at my local University where they have a tutoring center. Didn't even ask about the cost. I had looked for them on the web earlier and couldn't find a link but I was so frustrated today that I did not let up- not at all! Guess what I found them and I think we are Number 1 on the waiting list. I consider this a huge accomplishment. (BTW they suggested the $20K school that specializes in dyslexic students- which of course I'm already in the process of looking at but it's nice to hear it from a stranger).
8. Bought an on-line tutoring program reccomended by our doctor. A lot of back and forth with too many password and unfriendly user setup process. Sigh. $175.00 (roughly).
There is a dearth of customer service oriented individuals in this world. Some really smart business person could probably make a lot of money filling in this huge need.
October: A surprisingly poor performance review by the first grade teacher who frankly comes across as someone who would rather be someplace else.
I was also the reading helper at school working with the whole class 1 day per month. I saw that most of the other girls were far ahead of my own child in reading. So I began the process of getting an appointment with a neuropsychologist. I decided to go with a doctor who only had a one month waiting list rather than the name brand doctor who had a 4 month waiting list.
November: parent interview with neuropsychologist. Total cost: $1500.00 with our insurance reimbursing $450 since this was out of network. (I wonder what impoverished people do when they are in a panic about their children? I say many thanks and am grateful.) There are only 2 doctors in this town worth anything that do this work (I will talk about this more later) which is why we were out of network. There were 7 different questionaire in this process 2 for me, 2 for husband, 2 for the teacher and 1 for the tutor.
Her school tutor told me, "she isnt behind the rest of the class is just really bright".
Our principal gave a tight lipped reluctant-to-help-you attitude saying only "everyone catches up at some point". I disagree (quietly) and proceed to have testing done.
December: testing (a 6 hour process broken into 2 days 3 hours each). My daughter is sick with a stomach flu the night before both of these days but there is no way I'm rescheduling. I always have the sense that I'm losing time here.
January 4th: diagnosis of dyslexia. My husband took it harder than I did. I sort of already knew. This is the benefit of having seen my brother with it growing up. I knew it was manageable.
The doctor had plenty to say of course but I think he could have dwelled a little more on what her strengths are: great memory, she can rhythm, well developed language skills etc.
January 5th: began to work toward getting a tutor and information about a computer program that was suggested. Found wall, began to bang head against it.
January something (?) Had what our current school principal called a preliminary meeting to work on meeting what the doctor said my kid needs. Met with tutor, principal and first grade teacher. Nothing accomplished. Resisted urge to throw their words about catching up etc back at them. Noticed that they have no use for me but hang on husband's every word. Wondered about how backwardly sexist the Catholic community really is. Resolve to start calling Sister Barbara --Mother McKenzie instead and call Father Shoemaker Brother Kevin (just kidding). Resolve again not to convert until Catholics ordain women priests.
January 15-January 20: Had thought we could change to a more dyslexia friendly Catholic school (very important to huband and in-laws - not important to me -I'm Methodist).
Catholic School Option #2 has other kids with learning differences, an actual special education director and trained Orton-Gillingham tutor. Had 2 meetings, Husband had a meeting. Saw the school. Introduced my daughter and they tested her.
It ended up I was shot down on Friday by the principal who said that he would kick us out if she wasn't reading at a 2.0 level by the start of 2nd grade. While I think she could have made that she had only been given Orton-Gillingham style tutoring for 2 weeks at that point and was only beginning to be able to sound out the words (something that they used to teach as a standard thing in schools but now who knows?) Went home and cried. Wondered what people did who are in a sort of Mrs. Gump position (without many other options like I have in my city).
January 21: Began letter to the Head of Catholic Schools reporting discriminatory position of this principal. An excellently scathing letter if I may say so myself. Husband yelled at me not to send it and cause trouble.
January 23: Was told Mr. Mean Principal of Catholic school #2 called my husband back to say he had reconsidered his position and we could come anyway. Didn't send scathing letter. Still have bad taste in my mouth. Need to go to church this week and try to forgive people for not knowing a damn thing about this subject.
January 5-January 25: Worked toward getting a tutor or even getting on a waiting list. Emailed and called and submitted paperwork to, oh heck lets make a sublist:
1. The supposedly greatest tutor in my neighborhood, 3 emails and 2 phone calls and one email back to say she had a waiting list. I still don't know if I'm on it or not and it's been about 2 weeks.
2. A lady who advertises in the parents paper. No call back yet. Actually I had talked to her before our diagnosis and wasn't terribly impressed. Here is the reason: a lot of people are supposedly Orton-Gillingham trained but that term is used rather loosely it seems. Did they learn in a one day seminar or put in a lot of time to really "get it"? I'm new here and so these are the sorts of questions running through my mind. Plus she lives far away.
3. The local Children's Dyslexia Center funded by the Masonic temple. Bless you Masons for seeing a community need and responding to it. Here is the problem- in my city the waiting list is 2 years long (although I guess sometimes folks get lucky). Also I cant seem to get a phone call or email back to see if the paperwork I sent in on January 5th has been received.
4. Emailed acquaintance to get their supposedly great tutor's info. Talked to tutor who of course was so booked she didn't even have a waiting list I could be on. (Begin to wonder if this isn't personal and I'm smelly and gross or something- shake off this thought and keep looking for a tutor).
5. Had a number of a person whose job it is to advocate for families with children with special needs. Thought I'd call just to see if I can get any info. $400.00 retainer and $80.00. Most of the time the people who hire her live in the suburbs and cant get what they need for their kid from the supposedly wonderfully learning difference friendly school systems all that tax money is paying for. Count lucky stars again and wonder if anyone really ever does get what they need from their school system (once again, wonder what poor people do?)
6. Contacted my local International dyselxia association which has a tutor list but they only return phone calls and emails via volunteers. I guess there are no volunteers these days because I have yet to hear anything.
7. Just today I finally got onto a waiting list at my local University where they have a tutoring center. Didn't even ask about the cost. I had looked for them on the web earlier and couldn't find a link but I was so frustrated today that I did not let up- not at all! Guess what I found them and I think we are Number 1 on the waiting list. I consider this a huge accomplishment. (BTW they suggested the $20K school that specializes in dyslexic students- which of course I'm already in the process of looking at but it's nice to hear it from a stranger).
8. Bought an on-line tutoring program reccomended by our doctor. A lot of back and forth with too many password and unfriendly user setup process. Sigh. $175.00 (roughly).
There is a dearth of customer service oriented individuals in this world. Some really smart business person could probably make a lot of money filling in this huge need.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
The past: My younger brother
My brother who is now 37 years old was diagnosed with dyslexia but only after having been painfully placed into what was then called an L.D. class (learning disabled was the term used at the time). It was an inner city school and people in his class had severe disablities that ranged all over the place, from cerebral palsy to behavior issues. In short the six months he spent in that class really hurt his idea of himself in a lot of ways. For example our neighborhood friends would not associate with him at school (because he was in the L.D. class) and after six months he was tested again and go figure he hadnt learned anything.
At that point my parents pulled him out of public school and took every penny they had to put him into a school where they specialized in dyslexia.
It helped. It didnt help hugely but it did help some, enough for him to go on to have a normal life. He remembers that his self esteem was a lot better off in the new school.
The point of telling this is that I knew, I had seen, growing up, what it looked like for a child to suffer at the hand of ignorant adults who knew so little about what we now call learning differences.
These days we take a pottery class together. He is wonderful, he also is a fabulous sculpturer. My pottery skills leave a lot to be desired but that's okay, I know my strengths.
At that point my parents pulled him out of public school and took every penny they had to put him into a school where they specialized in dyslexia.
It helped. It didnt help hugely but it did help some, enough for him to go on to have a normal life. He remembers that his self esteem was a lot better off in the new school.
The point of telling this is that I knew, I had seen, growing up, what it looked like for a child to suffer at the hand of ignorant adults who knew so little about what we now call learning differences.
These days we take a pottery class together. He is wonderful, he also is a fabulous sculpturer. My pottery skills leave a lot to be desired but that's okay, I know my strengths.
Welcome to our adventures in dyslexia
So our first grade daughter has been diagnosed with dyslexia and I think perhaps I could use a bit of writing therapy to get through all this and maybe, perhaps, hopefully, what we learn might benefit someone else and help them to not have to work so hard.
Let's have a fine adventure together and thanks for reading.
Michelle
Let's have a fine adventure together and thanks for reading.
Michelle
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)