A Timeline

A timeline of events:

October: A surprisingly poor performance review by the first grade teacher who frankly comes across as someone who would rather be someplace else.

I was also the reading helper at school working with the whole class 1 day per month.  I saw that most of the other girls were far ahead of my own child in reading.  So I began the process of getting an appointment with a neuropsychologist.  I decided to go with a doctor who only had a one month waiting list rather than the name brand doctor who had a 4 month waiting list.

November: parent interview with neuropsychologist. Total cost: $1500.00 with our insurance reimbursing $450 since this was out of network.  (I wonder what impoverished people do when they are in a panic about their children?  I say many thanks and am grateful.) There are only 2 doctors in this town worth anything that do this work (I will talk about this more later) which is why we were out of network.  There were 7 different questionaire in this process 2 for me, 2 for husband, 2 for the teacher and 1 for the tutor. 

Her school tutor told me, "she isnt behind the rest of the class is just really bright".

Our principal gave a tight lipped reluctant-to-help-you attitude saying only "everyone catches up at some point".  I disagree (quietly) and proceed to have testing done.

December: testing (a 6 hour process broken into 2 days 3 hours each).  My daughter is sick with a stomach flu the night before both of these days but there is no way I'm rescheduling. I always have the sense that I'm losing time here.

January 4th: diagnosis of dyslexia.  My husband took it harder than I did.  I sort of already knew.  This is the benefit of having seen my brother with it growing up.  I knew it was manageable. 

The doctor had plenty to say of course but I think he could have dwelled a little more on what her strengths are: great memory, she can rhythm, well developed language skills etc.  

January 5th: began to work toward getting a tutor and information about a computer program that was suggested.  Found wall, began to bang head against it.

January something (?) Had what our current school principal called a preliminary meeting to work on meeting what the doctor said my kid needs.  Met with tutor, principal and first grade teacher.  Nothing accomplished. Resisted urge to throw their words about catching up etc back at them.  Noticed that they have no use for me but hang on husband's every word.  Wondered about how backwardly sexist the Catholic community really is. Resolve to start calling Sister Barbara --Mother McKenzie instead and call Father Shoemaker Brother Kevin (just kidding). Resolve again not to convert until Catholics ordain women priests.

January 15-January 20: Had thought we could change to a more dyslexia friendly Catholic school (very important to huband and in-laws - not important to me -I'm Methodist).

Catholic School Option #2 has other kids with learning differences, an actual special education director and trained Orton-Gillingham tutor.  Had 2 meetings, Husband had a meeting.  Saw the school.  Introduced my daughter and they tested her. 

It ended up I was shot down on Friday by the principal who said that he would kick us out if she wasn't reading at a 2.0 level by the start of 2nd grade.  While I think she could have made that she had only been given Orton-Gillingham style tutoring for 2 weeks at that point and was only beginning to be able to sound out the words (something that they used to teach as a standard thing in schools but now who knows?)  Went home and cried.  Wondered what people did who are in a sort of Mrs. Gump position (without many other options like I have in my city).

January 21: Began letter to the Head of Catholic Schools reporting discriminatory position of this principal.  An excellently scathing letter if I may say so myself.  Husband yelled at me not to send it and cause trouble.

January 23: Was told Mr. Mean Principal of Catholic school #2 called my husband back to say he had reconsidered his position and we could come anyway.  Didn't send scathing letter.  Still have bad taste in my mouth.  Need to go to church this week and try to forgive people for not knowing a damn thing about this subject.

January 5-January 25: Worked toward getting a tutor or even getting on a waiting list.  Emailed and called and submitted paperwork to, oh heck lets make a sublist:

                         1. The supposedly greatest tutor in my neighborhood, 3 emails and 2 phone calls and one email back to say she had a waiting list.  I still don't know if I'm on it or not and it's been about 2 weeks.

                         2. A lady who advertises in the parents paper.  No call back yet.  Actually I had talked to her before our diagnosis and wasn't terribly impressed.  Here is the reason: a lot of people are supposedly Orton-Gillingham trained but that term is used rather loosely it seems.  Did they learn in a one day seminar or put in a lot of time to really "get it"?  I'm new here and so these are the sorts of questions running through my mind. Plus she lives far away.

                         3. The local Children's Dyslexia Center funded by the Masonic temple.  Bless you Masons for seeing a community need and responding to it.  Here is the problem- in my city the waiting list is 2 years long (although I guess sometimes folks get lucky).  Also I cant seem to get a phone call or email back to see if the paperwork I sent in on January 5th has been received.

                         4. Emailed acquaintance to get their supposedly great tutor's info.  Talked to tutor who of course was so booked she didn't even have a waiting list I could be on.  (Begin to wonder if this isn't personal and I'm smelly and gross or something- shake off this thought and keep looking for a tutor).

                          5.  Had a number of a person whose job it is to advocate for families with children with special needs.  Thought I'd call just to see if I can get any info.  $400.00 retainer and $80.00.  Most of the time the people who hire her live in the suburbs and cant get what they need for their kid from the supposedly wonderfully learning difference friendly school systems all that tax money is paying for.  Count lucky stars again and wonder if anyone really ever does get what they need from their school system (once again, wonder what poor people do?)

                         6. Contacted my local International dyselxia association which has a tutor list but they only return phone calls and emails via volunteers.  I guess there are no volunteers these days because I have yet to hear anything.

                        7. Just today I finally got onto a waiting list at my local University where they have a tutoring center.  Didn't even ask about the cost.  I had looked for them on the web earlier and couldn't find a link but I was so frustrated today that I did not let up- not at all! Guess what I found them and I think we are Number 1 on the waiting list.  I consider this a huge accomplishment.  (BTW they suggested the $20K school that specializes in dyslexic students- which of course I'm already in the process of looking at but it's nice to hear it from a stranger).

                     8. Bought an on-line tutoring program reccomended by our doctor.  A lot of back and forth with too many password and unfriendly user setup process.  Sigh. $175.00 (roughly).

There is a dearth of customer service oriented individuals in this world.  Some really smart business person could probably make a lot of money filling in this huge need.