In my long ago past I once dated a man who was a prison guard. He was a nice person and hadn't been on the job for very long. He worked hard but the inmates were always causing him grief in one way or another. It was hard to hear about such a nice person having to put up with so much. So I mulled it over.
What I came up with was this: the prisoners were there 24 hours 7 days a week. For my friend it was a job. He put in his hours then he went home and tried not to think about work too much. For the prisoners they had plenty of time, energy and really not too much else going on. It was part of their lifestyle to look at everything they knew about him and plan out what mental crap they were going to pull next.
Putting any issue about prisoners rights to the side for the moment since that isn't what this blog is about I want to say a few words of how this relates to learning differences, parents and schools.
In our last school there used to be this fairly common teacher/school administrator complaint that all the parents talked to each other (gossiped). It's probably true of most schools but certainly in the Catholic system where these folks have known each other awhile (decades sometimes) and also go to church together it's especially true.
Here is where we parents are like the prisoners though. We have a lot riding on whether our child is being treated correctly, taught appropriately and handled fairly. We aren't there all the time but if we care (and most of us do) we want to know and we will get our information any way we have to (including through gossip).
Teachers and School Administrators may want to go home and forget about little Johnny and his reading issues but a parent (even a busy one) will never forget. This makes us a formidable force.
Our new school for children with Dyslexia (love it) had a party tonight. We went, it was fun, my kids were happy. It was all pleasant.
Except that I was in a crabby mood (nerves?) and according to my husband was a big bitch to someone I should have been kissing the ass of. (Remember I want the state scholarship money and need an IEP for my daughter first in order to qualify and now there is a deadline of April 15th for paperwork to be in).
Still, I wanted to (in a sly, Southern woman type way) let the person I was talking to know the following:
1. I knew exactly who she is was and that she still has not called me back from weeks ago. (She was too busy supposedly but she didn't seem that busy to me at the party).
2. I had a talk with the school psychologist about our needs and the deadline. He didnt let me get a word in edgewise (and that's difficult to do) and basically had a whole back-off-pushy-parent M.O. I found him to be a big jerk (a common trait with the school psychologists I've dealt with) and I wont be forgetting that anytime soon.
3. My kid already has a dyslexia diagnosis. I'm really not concerned with any idle threats about not finding any real issue and therefore not qualifying for the IEP and scholarship. School office folk seem to like to qualify everything with well you can get the scholarship if there is really a problem. Listen up, there is and we wouldn't be at that SUPER Expensive school if there wasn't a diagnosis so quit trying to power-play me. (They dont have any real power so they throw around what little they have). I'm still contemplating throwing down that $400.00 retainer for the child advocate.
Remember the earlier story ---these school folks are the prison guards, and me, I'm the prisoner. So don't think I'm not spending my time/energy/money working every possible angle until I have the direction I need to go.
In other words, "Don't mess with Mama."
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